January 2011
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The Sneezes
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the...
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A Paris Tale
Eugene, a furniture dealer from Green Bay, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine,...
Constitutional Coordination
I hate that window mid-morning, when the coffee’s kicking in, and you make the walk, knowing how long the walk takes… then you open the door and realize everyone else in the plant had precisely the same thought about 3 minutes earlier; on really bad days, you’re among a group of people doing the barely through the door u-turn.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
I eep
I eep who?
You do? Ewww.
“Papen boasted to intimates that “Within two months we will have pushed...”
– http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franz_von_Papen
“Terror must be broken by terror.”
– Sturmabteilung motto.
(Us) Old Guys Are Helpful
I was in Costco the other day, pushing a cart around, when I collided with a young guy also pushing his cart.
I said to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
The young guy says, “That’s OK. It’s just a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her...
WatchFunny M-Dew ad.
WatchIt’s tricky to discreetly buy a Porno Mag…
A Brothel Story
The madam opened the brothel door in Elko County, Nevada, and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. ‘May I help you, sir?’ she asked. ‘I want to see Valerie,’ the man replied. ‘Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else’, said the madam. ‘No, I must see...
Strange
This year we will experience 4 unusual dates: 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 . NOW even more odd, go figure this out. Take the last 2 digits of the year you were born add that to the age you will be on your birthday in 2011 and it will equal 111.
Making a Question Rhetorical
A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours? ” He replied, ” No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints. “
Rye Bread
Two old guys, one 80 one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have...
